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A shark just ate your disgusting sneakers - and you're still inside them! Imagine there's this mall, and it's the biggest thing you've ever seen in the whole universe. It's so big it's going to take your whole life just to find a place to park in one of its fifty quajillion parking lots. Now imagine you're the biggest schlub in the universe. Your name is Melvinge. You're on your way to the mall with your faithful dogoid companion, Harlan. Only you've bitten off more than you can chew, even if you had ten thousand sets of of teeth. You see, there are these Gypsies waiting along the turnpike, and one of them will bite Melvinge and turn him into a werewolf. Then there's Shdark, the Loan Shark. What Shdark can't have, Shdark eats. Which includes not only Melvinge and Harlan, but their interdimensional recreational vehicle, the Grabovnikov! Ever have one of those nights...?